I wasn't who I was before

I am under a lot of pressure recently . I need to study , I need to pratice my guitar , I need to train for basketball competition , I need to handle all the problems currently happening around me . But I'm still not in the mood to study eventhough I know I will be having PMR this year , shit ._. I barely went to training , it's like something I just don't wanna give up without any reason . And the worst is I can't solve the problems happening  and I made myself felt very bad . 

I can feel that I've change but in a bad way . I'm not happy with my attitude these days , why am I acting like that ? I am a bad friend , treating my friends like shit , yeah who am I to treat them like that ? damn .________. I don't like myself this way , I don't know what should I do either .. 

I'm not that strong , but I don't wanna seem weak . Going through all these may be very tiring and hard for me but I want to prove that I'm not really that weak . I can be strong , I know I can . 

#keepholdingon 

Music makes me feel better :') 

DON'T GIVE UP HY !